As many of you know, last year I was diagnosed with Attention Deficient Disorder. On one hand, that is a strange thing to discover about one’s self at age 37. On the other hand, it explained a lot. I mean a lot.
This is what it is like: In my head there are always 10 radio stations playing at full volume. If at any given point you were to me ask what is going on around me, I would be able to tell you the gist of the three conversations behind me, how many people walked in the door, and the basic layout of the room.
But I may not be able to tell you what you just said to me, because I was distracted by those other things.
And because of that, I am easily overwhelmed by even basic tasks: You may see a room that needs to be picked up. I see each individual toy (where do they even go?) and every DVD that is missing a case (why are they missing their cases?) and the carpet that needs to be vacuumed and the couch needs to be fixed and a light bulb needs to be replaced and the furnace filter that needs to replaced (where do I even buy filters?) and…and…and… That is I when shut down, push some stuff in a pile, and call it good.
Not surprisingly, working at Starbucks, with the fast pace, constant distractions, and unending line of drinks can be very difficult. Taking my Ritalin is a huge help, but when I am “on bar” (making the drinks), it just isn’t enough.
After a particularly difficult shift, I asked my boss how she keeps focused when things get so busy. Her advice has become one of the most helpful “life management” tools I have ever received:
“Only focus on two drinks at a time.”
I don’t need to think about the decaf-triple-venti-ristretto-mocha six drinks down the line or even the grande-extra-caramel-caramel-Frappichino I’ll make next. I only need to focus on the two drinks I am working on now. That’s it.
Maybe that sounds painfully obvious to you. But when I even think about something as simple as folding a pile of laundry, my pulse goes up and I am paralyzed by chaotic mass of socks and underwear. I am a learning to take a deep breath and remind myself, “Two drinks at a time.” I only need to think about grabbing all of the underwear and deciding while I will pick up next. That’s it.
How about you? Does this sound painfully familiar? What techniques have you learned to help you cope with life?
Or if you know someone who is ADD, does this help you understand them?
In my work I get constantly interrupted. Everybody thinks their request is more important than the previous person’s request, so I treat it like Starbucks, and make you get in line. Then I only handle two drinks at a time.
Josh, I didn’t know you didn’t know, but I saw it. I don’t think mine is as severe as some (or else I’m just too stubborn to admit it) but it’s been a lifelong process to manage.
Things that have helped me:
DO NOT beat myself up about it.
Be honest, most people don’t mind if you ask them to repeat.
I learned what my biggest distractions are.
Get enough rest. If I am over-tired, I will not be able to pay attention or get anything done.
Get my version of down-time. If I get overstimulated for too long, I’m toast.
Lots to do? Make a list and prioritize. Didn’t get it all done? Give yourself grace, ask for help if time is an issue, and move on.
I include my body while listening so I am actively participating. For instance:
In a noisy crowd, I shft my position or make listening gestures to minimize visual distractions or say or repeat something to the person to keep my mind on the conversation at hand. If possible, I ask if we can move to a less noisy spot.
In a long meeting or lecture: I try to maintain some appropriate physical activity: I take notes, I consciously change my sitting postiion, I purposely look at the speaker. (unfortunately for me, “apppropriate” activity doesn’t include fidgeting, tapping pencils, rapping a beat on the desk, humming, swinging my feet, twisting/rocking the chair, etc.)
Listen on purpose. Listening is a gift you give, a gift that requires some effort which makes it all the more valuable. Listening to people can impact their lives more than talking to them.
OK so that is more than I ever was going to reveal, but, whatever. Hope you get some great tips that help you achieve more than you ever dreamed you were capable of. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Thanks Terrie! I am actually glad I wasn’t i diagnosed until this late in life because it forced me to learn how to work with my ADD, and now I can use the meds just where they are really helpful — for instance my preaching greatly improved with the meds.
Okay, so now I think I should be tested for ADD. I totally think like this! when I go to a coffee shop with a friend, I have to sit with my back to the room, so I can concentrate on what my friend is saying or miss half the conversation.
My house is constantly messy because I’d rather be taking the girls swimming, shopping, playground, so i don’t have to deal with the slippers, toys, laundry, sweeping, Oh and the Mail Ahhhh!
Thanks Julie, that is funny to hear! If you want to talk more about it, please feel welcome to contact me.
I always thought it was silly that it’s called attention deficit, when really the problem is paying too much attention to everything! I found that I could use unconscientious distractions such as listening to music or doodling to actual help me do my work better. And if I know there’s something that I need to focus on (like a sermon or conversation with my husband) then I’ll repeat back in my head everything that I’ve just heard. I allow myself to be semi-distracted (I can’t not notice a cough or pretend to ignore someone wiggling), but I make sure to willfully make the decision to focus on that for a moment, then redirect my focus to what I ought to be paying attention to.